You are free, Ashley, you are free

Sometimes you hear a faint whisper. A faint whisper that captivates your soul. Well, I heard that last Friday night at a church called Hope City.

For the past three to four years, I have been enslaved to a crippling depression and anxiety. It has consumed my days. There have been days where I have needed to force myself out of bed. There have been days where the anxiety is so prevalent that I can’t breathe or function for hours. There have been days where the thoughts of self harm have consumed me. I could go on and on about how all consuming my mental illnesses have been but that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is delieverance.

Let me tell you about that night. I honestly did not want to go to this church service. I honestly wanted to stay at home and just sit in the depression. That is what I subconsciously wanted. So, I got dragged along by a few friends. We show up and everyone is in a giant circle around the room.We dive deep into intense prayer. It is something that I have never experienced before. These people were so full of Jesus.

I walked into this prayer meeting having thoughts of self harm and what I don’t like to admit was that suicide was in the back of my mind. I immediately start praying to God to deliver me from the enslavement of depression and anxiety. I say to God.. Please help me. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I am in so much pain. I need you God, I need you. I began to shake because I am crying out to God to heal me from my misery. Before I know it, my friend leans over and grabs me. She begins to pray over me and commands in the name of Jesus that I be delivered from depression. Then I heard it. A gentle whisper..

You are free.

I heard God’s voice for the first time in my life. It was something that was indescribable. I immediately started crying. Tears were streaming down my face. I felt true and utter freedom for the first time in three years. The chains were broken. The bondage was unravled. I am free.

After the service, I have never left a place feeling more free. All I could do was laugh because I couldn’t believe what had happened. It was so out of this world that my mind was trying to toss it aside but I have never felt more content than I have the past few days. There have been moments where I should be depressed or anxious but I wasn’t; and I get to celebrate that victory.

Over the past few years, I have never believed that I would be healed from depression or anxiety in this lifetime. I figured I would struggle with it till the day I die and would be free from it when I entered the gates of Heaven. Having mental illnesses have always been a part of me. They have in essence become my friend over the years. I couldn’t picture a day where I would walk without the depression or anxiety lurking behind me.

My intention in the post is to tell you that your depression, your anxiety, your struggle, and your sin that you may be enslaved to, DOESN’T DEFINE YOU. What defines you is your Lord and savior Jesus Christ. You must let his story rewrite yours and sweep you up into something much greater than yourself because your hope of redemption is in the redeemer. The fact that Jesus is our redeemer shows up countless of times in scripture.

“It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God-that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption.” -1 Corinthians 1:30

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” -Romans 3:23-24

“But when the set time had fully come, God set his son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might recieve adoption to sonship.” -Galatians 4:4-5

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” Ephesians 1:7

Something that I have always rested in is that God promises to redeem us. Whether that be in this life time or not, HE WILL REDEEM YOU FROM WHAT YOU ARE FACING. The Lord promised the Isrealites that they would be free from the wilderness, they just needed to be still and know that He is God. God delivered them to the promised land.

Slavery leads to freedom and bondage in sin leads to life in Christ. Redemption restores God’s original design in creation; we have been delivered from the bondage of sin into the freedom of the Spirit. So when bitterness surfaces, anxiety swells, fear stabs, or temptation lures, we can turn our eyes to Jesus, worship Him then and there, and be changed from one degree of glory to another.

So, be honest about your suffering. He hears your cries. He knows your suffering. He will keep his promise. He will rescue you.