Sometimes I think about the things that are being/ have been said about me in the ministry organizations that I have left. How it’s “sad” and “she could have done great things for the kingdom” or “what a shame” and how I’ve most likely been prayed about. Then I start thinking about the amount of theology I know and how much I deeply studied the man of Jesus. Those people knew that and now what does that say? Then I start laughing because I have never been as happy and fulfilled as I am now. I can be who I am (my gay ass self) and who I was made to be apart from extremely toxic church and ministry environments and people. What I experienced was not Jesus, my friends. That was far from him.