I believe there is something to be said about human connection. We long for it. We long for that moment we meet them. We long for that connection, we long for that touch, we long to be able to feel as if we belong. Right then. Right there. Connection has a way of reminding us … Continue reading Unrequited

I really believe that depression is this demon that comes in the night, in the day, in those moments where the pain is consuming and feels as if you are being pulled under the tide gasping for air but can’t get to the surface. That is where you are either forced to fight, to find … Continue reading No Air

During February of 2018, I was in Seattle, Washington for spring break. I vividly remember this being a trip where I knew my world would fall apart when I returned home. 1 week later, my best friend, my grandma passed away. 1 month later I got engaged. 3 months later I called it off. 4 … Continue reading where are you…

Last week I made the decision to flush my antidepressants down the toilet and that wasn't the smartest idea, even though my doctor said I would be fine. (If you want the back story on why I did this, read my previous post that is titled, "flushed 'em"). The next seven days that followed flushing them, … Continue reading I shouldn’t have flushed ’em

I flushed my entire collection of antidepressants. I started medication when I was a junior in high school. So, that was almost five years ago. My brain has been medicated for five years. The first medication I was on was Prozac. This is a very common drug to start people out on for depression or … Continue reading Flushed ‘Em

relapse: a deterioration after a period of improvement When most people think of a relapse they think of alcohol and alcoholics. But the concept can mean many different things. Wether that be alcohol, drugs, junk food... like it literally could be anything that you are trying to stop doing. I recently had a relapse. My … Continue reading relapse

When I was a junior in high school, I struggled deeply with depression and anxiety. From August 2013 - December 2013 was one of the hardest times of my life. It started with losing my best friend. She meant the world to me. She was also the person I went to for everything. Up until … Continue reading Still Here

For 20 years, I fortunately never had to deal with someone close to me passing away. I always knew that my grandmother passing away was going to be one of hardest, if not the hardest things I would ever have to go through. It has been almost three months since my grandmother has passed away … Continue reading Three Months Later

You are free, Ashley, you are free Sometimes you hear a faint whisper. A faint whisper that captivates your soul. Well, I heard that last Friday night at a church called Hope City. For the past three to four years, I have been enslaved to a crippling depression and anxiety. It has consumed my days. … Continue reading Delivered (9/20/2016)

I have had a very rough history with self-harm. It all started when I was a sophomore in high school. I needed an escape. I needed a release. I needed to feel something. So, I took a razor blade to my wrist and I saw red. Blood began to flood the open wound. In that … Continue reading The Enslavement